Because it would be too easy to list all the reasons why life sucks and how hard the world really is - it must become a personal battle to choose to see the brighter side of things. To see the cup as "half full," as some people may say, is a trait that may come naturally to some but can be worked on to improve the outlook and even the quality of life for others. There is a strength that comes out of being able to turn a negative into a positive and not everyone has it. But there is no need to despair - happiness can come from anywhere; all you have to do is find it.
Finding the positive in life isn't always easy but the more you practice, the more second nature it will become. The trick is in the turn of your reaction to events that happen around you. We cannot control the actions of another or the events of what happens around us but we can control the outcome. Now, I'm not saying you can control your emotions - hurtful things will still happen, be said, and felt- but how you then deal with these hurtful things it is up to you. Generally, there are two ways to go, the clichéd "high road, low road," phrase gives a good starting point. The high road being, the happy way to live - where everyone can leave a situation feeling satisfied and having a fulfilling life full of love. The low road being the depressing way to live - where nothing seems worth an effort and everyone leaves angry, disappointed or upset. You can choose which road to go down, in any situation, and depending on which one you choose will determine how you feel in the end.
Is it actually possible to improve your life simply by changing the outlook and thus your reactions? Certainly. Let me give you an example. Say you have car insurance and (your fault or not) no one is hurt but somehow your car gets totaled; there are an endless amount of realities that could follow and how you react will determine what your fate will be.
Sometimes people misinterpret the words that come out of your mouth based on facial expression, body language, tone of voice, influxtion, etc. and that can leave some people feeling confused, like in scenario B, and despite how you act the other person can still react in an unpredictable matter. That leaves a lot of different options for how each different situation will turn out and you have a factor in that. Like it or not, how you feel, act, and what you say will affect the reaction of the other person.
So you've probably figured out that the same can go for positive feelings too. Just like negative emotions, your positive emotions can be transferred to others as well. Now keep in mind the other person may not be as receptive as you and could still blow up in your face, ignore you, etc. and of course your patience will be tried. But that's why it's important to not give up now; don't allow the other person's negative emotions transfer to you. Like in scenario C, you can see it's possible to still come out of a bad situation without feeling defeated. That is a good start. Remember, you don't have to feel miserable if you don't want to and not allowing someone to get the best of you is a great self esteem booster. Perhaps this is the first time you were able to control your reactions - that's something to be proud of.
What would be even better than just you feeling okay at the end of these scenarios, is if the other person came out feeling okay as well. Love and compassion are powerful emotions that many take for granted and some can't even access, but can be what change your life. Like in scenario D, you have taken the steps to alter the situation from being a very huge stress on your life to being an event that happened that day. When the magnitude of the situation is decreased it can be handled much easier. If your emotions are frayed, of course your going to have trouble making rational decisions and things will become harder. If you stay positive at least there is a chance for sanity. If you continue to stay a caring person, that energy follows you and generally caring people will surround you. The power to stay positive is within you. but the point is you must celebrate life and the positives within it.
The above scenarios are just the basics and I'm sure you can imagine the hundreds of other scenarios that could go along with these outlines.
Finding the positive in life isn't always easy but the more you practice, the more second nature it will become. The trick is in the turn of your reaction to events that happen around you. We cannot control the actions of another or the events of what happens around us but we can control the outcome. Now, I'm not saying you can control your emotions - hurtful things will still happen, be said, and felt- but how you then deal with these hurtful things it is up to you. Generally, there are two ways to go, the clichéd "high road, low road," phrase gives a good starting point. The high road being, the happy way to live - where everyone can leave a situation feeling satisfied and having a fulfilling life full of love. The low road being the depressing way to live - where nothing seems worth an effort and everyone leaves angry, disappointed or upset. You can choose which road to go down, in any situation, and depending on which one you choose will determine how you feel in the end.
Is it actually possible to improve your life simply by changing the outlook and thus your reactions? Certainly. Let me give you an example. Say you have car insurance and (your fault or not) no one is hurt but somehow your car gets totaled; there are an endless amount of realities that could follow and how you react will determine what your fate will be.
- Scenario A, get pissed, angrily accuse the other party (animate or not), the rest of the day is ruined. Feelings can get heated and bad things can happen. Your frustration will get bigger and when you finally continue on your day, things that normally wouldn't bother you will eventually cause you to explode. This will probably cause you to reflect on how hard the world is on you - creating the "poor me" syndrome. And acting like a victim will make you feel like a victim. Before you know it, you'll be thinking about how much you're going to miss your car and who is going to be upset about this and that is a recipe for self- loathing. Are you starting to see this downward spiral?
- Scenario B, get pissed but act friendly to get out of the negative situation as quick as possible. Fight or flight mode? So you begrudgingly act nice but those negative feelings are still there in the air and affect the other person. There are a lot of mixed feelings going on which can make things feel uneasy. Perhaps when you leave this uneasy feeling confuses you and so you get lost in analyzing the situation, what happened, and what was wrong with you.
- Scenario C, remain calm and open minded, realize you are both human, mistakes happen and at least no one is hurt. You are thankful the situation isn't as severe as it could have been (death), and genuinely want to make sure the other person is okay. Despite how the other person acts you stay positive and sympathize with how the other person is feeling. If you weren't so calm, perhaps you would be feeling just as distressed as this other person. Understand the reaction and even if the other person remains angry and the situation is left with negatively charged feelings, remember you don't have to carry them with you. The previous scenarios show what will happen if you allow yourself to become negative - but what if you let it go - perhaps you'll be able to get through all the inconveniences that come out of a car accident without getting down on yourself. Wouldn't that be nice?
- Scenario D, remain calm and open minded, go through the same actions as described in scenario C but instead the other person picks up on the positive emotions and is able to calm down as well. The situation is resolved peacefully and quickly. Perhaps so much positive energy is being transferred between the two of you that you are able to console each other. You are able to sail through the inconveniences that follow and hopefully can spin whatever negative comes your way into a positive. Maybe your car was totaled, now you need another one - but instead you say, "at least I get a new car out of the deal." All the more reason to celebrate if your insurance will cover that.
Sometimes people misinterpret the words that come out of your mouth based on facial expression, body language, tone of voice, influxtion, etc. and that can leave some people feeling confused, like in scenario B, and despite how you act the other person can still react in an unpredictable matter. That leaves a lot of different options for how each different situation will turn out and you have a factor in that. Like it or not, how you feel, act, and what you say will affect the reaction of the other person.
So you've probably figured out that the same can go for positive feelings too. Just like negative emotions, your positive emotions can be transferred to others as well. Now keep in mind the other person may not be as receptive as you and could still blow up in your face, ignore you, etc. and of course your patience will be tried. But that's why it's important to not give up now; don't allow the other person's negative emotions transfer to you. Like in scenario C, you can see it's possible to still come out of a bad situation without feeling defeated. That is a good start. Remember, you don't have to feel miserable if you don't want to and not allowing someone to get the best of you is a great self esteem booster. Perhaps this is the first time you were able to control your reactions - that's something to be proud of.
What would be even better than just you feeling okay at the end of these scenarios, is if the other person came out feeling okay as well. Love and compassion are powerful emotions that many take for granted and some can't even access, but can be what change your life. Like in scenario D, you have taken the steps to alter the situation from being a very huge stress on your life to being an event that happened that day. When the magnitude of the situation is decreased it can be handled much easier. If your emotions are frayed, of course your going to have trouble making rational decisions and things will become harder. If you stay positive at least there is a chance for sanity. If you continue to stay a caring person, that energy follows you and generally caring people will surround you. The power to stay positive is within you. but the point is you must celebrate life and the positives within it.
The above scenarios are just the basics and I'm sure you can imagine the hundreds of other scenarios that could go along with these outlines.
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