You Can't Please Everybody

You could be the best speaker in the world and still not get everyone to agree. The fact of the matter is you can't please everybody.  Even if you were head of the debate team, a master manipulator, a hypnotist, or just had good reason on your side - there are some people that will just not agree.  Some are just too stubborn to change their point of view, others perhaps too ignorant, but whatever the reason you must understand and learn to accept that not everyone is going to be happy. It's not your fault - some people just refuse to move away from the position they originally held for whatever reason it may be.

One of the first things to remember is we have all grown up with different backgrounds and thus all have been raised with different thoughts and beliefs. These factors play a part in the development of how others act, react, feel, think, grow and adapt. If a person has a belief that he/she has grown up with - it might be very hard for that person to let go of something that was so grounding to them.  Although there are people who are more adaptable than others generally, people are more adaptable at a young age.  But just because a person is older doesn't mean he/she has to be stagnant. Yet some people are and that is why it is important to remember not to take it personally when you can't please someone else.

There is always room for criticism and adaptability and if someone is unmovable in a point, well it could be very likely they are trying to get you to agree with them. But another thing to remember is just because you two don't agree doesn't mean either of you are wrong.  Everyone in the world is different and it is these differences that make us so interesting to others. The clichéd saying, "wouldn't it be boring if we were all alike?" is a perfect example of why we are different.  Passion can sometimes be derived from someone who tries to get you to be the same.  If someone tells you to do something that they do, but you don't agree with, unless peer pressure is in play - more than likely you won't do it.

We all grow up with different beliefs and even if there are similarities it won't be exactly the same because of the way we interpret things.  The way we remember situations are personalized and so even if two twins went to an event together they will recall aspects that were personal to them and twenty years down the road these memories will more than likely be different.  Maybe this will incite an argument about which details were actually correct or not. A person's morals from childhood or new morals can take cause a person to be unhappy.

So even if you try to please a person - it doesn't always work.  What you find nice might be offensive to someone else.  Some people just don't care or don't know the difference in what you may be trying to explain.  Some people are just stubborn and unmovable in their opinion. Whatever the reason for not being able to please a person remember it's not always you. Some people just don't like anything and may not like you.  Even if it isn't personal there are so many reasons a person could react a certain way and may have nothing to do with you at all.

It helps to try to understand where someone is coming from. Ask them to elaborate, figure out the source or main idea of the point being discussed. If you can understand where the other person is coming from, you can validate their beliefs and from there figure out how to relate your point to their opinion. The key is often in finding a common belief and expanding from there.  But at the end of the day, or argument, if you just can't convince the other person then you may just have to agree to disagree.  Like if you like meat it doesn't matter what bible quote or scientific data you tell your vegetarian buddy - more than likely you won't get them to eat meat; just like your buddy won't convince you to stop eating meat (and this is where the ignorance comes in) unless you weren't aware of the facts before-hand.

Don't be stubborn yourself though! Sometimes you have to realize that the person may be trying to please you in his/her own way.  Since we all communicate differently remember to stay open minded.  Listening to a point rather than trying to get yours across can work wonders.  Maybe they will reveal why they are never happy. If it isn't personal, maybe you can discover what the issue really is.

What Should I Remember?

• You can't please everybody
• Just because you disagree doesn't mean you're wrong
• Having different opinions is okay
• It isn't always personal
• Some people are just stubborn
• Relate through a common idea or belief
• Sometimes you just have to let it go
• Stay open minded and listen