A note on writing

I used to always hide in my room and go on the computer.  That's where you could find me after school: at home,  door closed, writing.  It's where I went when I was happy, sad, lonely, or feeling the urge to get away.  Writing took me to a place which only existed in my mind.  A land which I could bring to life through my fingers.  This was my home and where I could go to be myself. 

At some point I  Iost myself and couldn't find my way home again. I still search for that feeling inside of me where the world has aspirations and opportunities.  Where hopes prosper and dreams grow into fruition. A time when the idea of finding the love of my life and getting married didn't terrify the hell out of me.   I write for that child I once was to remind me of who I am,  the dreams I've always had but strayed away from and to never stop loving. 

Writing is a task which must be done daily. Like any other career you want to advance in; it takes the actual physical sitting down and typing out the thoughts which go through our head.  Having a writers streak is great but if I were to only write during those times, well then writing would be just a hobby.  But in order to really consider myself a writer, I must write. Otherwise it would be the same as calling myself a traveler and then going home to only think about the places I would want to go. Traveling requires action, thinking is only daydreaming.

I was listening to a lecture on YouTube about what it takes to achieve your goals.  One of the first things mentioned was believing in yourself. Which does make sense, if you don't think your worth what you're  working for then that goal will always be unattainable because you already believe you can't do it. That is a self defeating prophecy and a cycle I myself am guilty of falling into. Without even knowing it we set ourselves up for failure just so we can prove how we shouldn't have even tried because we are so worthless. Wrong. We are worth it. And the first step to your goal is believing that success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. 

You want to be a writer? Then do it. Whatever it is you want to do, do it. The thing is, for most everybody it takes work to get where you want to be. I can't just sit and daydream my stories and then expect to write everything out all at once when a writers streak comes on. I'm missing the working for it step, the actual writing part of being a writer.  That was the other part of the lecture. If you dedicated yourself to working as hard toward your goal as you do dreaming about it, you will eventually get there. Try it for a month, every day work toward that goal like it should be yours, like you do for any other career. Then see how far you have progressed.  At least in the way of writing, I bet I could bust out quite a few chapters, stories,  articles or whatever I'm working on. But what is holding me back?

It could be a matter of time, the difficulty of changing habits to make time. Because it is a matter of making time, the world rarely gives us time for anything so we have to make it ourselves. Instead of watching tv after work I could write. Instead of coming up with stories while weeding and allowing those stories to just become part of the air, I could take a writing device out with me and pause to write. That would be a constructive use of my time. Admittedly, there may be things out of my control and time escapes me. But I can't be full of excuses. That is what procrastination is made of and nothing good comes out of putting things off. It only makes the pile of future tasks and regrets bigger.

So I'm tackling my pile and trying to make a change.  Afterall it does seem a bit ridiculous to not do something I've always enjoyed and find relaxing.  Maybe there are other issues I'm not addressing here but I'm trying it out. I'm writing.